Nice Has Its Price!
June 26, 2010
At the 2007 Grammy awards The Dixie Chicks song "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice" won the Grammy for best song.
The storm of controversy that spawned the song is known to many. The hottest selling female country band in music history, the Dixie Chicks, got knocked off a lot of radio stations and suffered significant financial losses when one of them expressed a political viewpoint during a London concert in 2003. Whether you agree with them or not, isn't what I want to focus on in this article.
As the Dixie Chicks worked their way out of the controversy, they wrote an award-winning, powerful song that can be a great guide for all of us.
"I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down...I don't have time to go round and round and round...I've paid a price and I'll keep paying... I can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should."
That last line is the key to living your life from a place of freedom, peace and joy. If you try to live your life to please others, or to do what they think you should, you'll never be happy or fulfill your dreams.
People will find all sorts of ways to try to manipulate you into doing things their way. They will give you gifts, promotions, raises, love (well not really, but they say they will), housing, food, and validation. They will act pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to try to get you to do things their way. And all you have to do is give in, speak, act and do it their way. All you have to do is sell your soul!
Am I being dramatic? Not really. When you live your life by someone else's standards and wishes, you aren't living it according to what feels great for you. And you will never be happy under those circumstances. And it's your life!
As women, many of us were raised to be nice little girls. We were taught that being people pleasers had benefits. After all most of us had moms and dads who validated, rewarded and loved us when we were good.
And that might have been okay when we were small, since we couldn't survive without mom and dad, but now as women it's not good for us.